Mr Tickles

Today I caught a spider. It is as big as a mouse. We named it Mr Tickles.

International Relations

After many hours and many raised voices, the game that shall not be named is known by two Italians and two Germans.

Experience

"How much backhoe experience do you have?"

"Very little"

"Ok, go take that backhoe. Load those bales, then clean out that irrigation ditch."

"10-4"

More pictures

Sheep and spiders.

Taboo and definitions

June 6

As I alluded to earlier, everyone here wants to learn English. I am constantly bombarded with questions pertaining to the English language. It is incredible, rewarding and fun. It is also a challenge because I must force myself to use the proper pronunciation and grammar whenever I speak. The two Frenchmen in an effort to better understand this bastard tongue, invented or stole the game called "Taboo". The basic premise is that one person explains a word without using certain phrases or words. The Frenchmen decided to up the ante and include movements but limits are placed on the number of words allowed. Basically, we play charades/taboo and hilarity ensues. We also create our own words which forces me to be the resident editor of all spelling. A role I am ill equipped for.

Well dear reader, there really isn't much more to share. I have settled into a routine here. There are two utes waiting my for loving touch and one troopie. The troopie is a Sunday project and I have been informed that if I get it running and I clean it out I can call it my own. Tomorrow it will get a visit from Mr. Pressure Washer and Mrs Spider Poison.

I suppose I should explain some of those terms. The Aussie vernacular is easy enough to comprehend but it is as endless as any regional dialect. Moving on.

Ute = small 1/4 ton sized truck,  usually powered by a 4 cylinder diesel, always horribly overloaded. For example, the ute I just finished repairing and currently operate has a 600L fuel tank, a 15 gal air compressor, a generator, a tool box and I have been informed that a chemical tote (1000L) fits in the remaining space.

Troopie = any Land Rover or Toyota SUV with enough capacity to carry 7 people. Usually reserved for older models. The quintessential outback mobile.

On the piss = drunk

Goon = cheap wine

Winter = a mythical season

Muster = gather or meeting

Football = Rugby, either kind, or soccer, or Australian rules football, or American football. They make no distinction and thus confuses me.

Bog = slough or to get stuck

"Too easy" = a response, usually given after a set of instructions are recieved, intended to convey that you understand.

"Piece of piss" = another type of response, usually given to indicate that the job will be easy.

There are always more so I will keep you posted. I will also bid you goodnight because the sunrise will be here soon and I quite enjoy them down here.

Until next time, take it easy.

Mission Accomplished

Whenever I am riding a quad and I see an antelope I always try to catch them and slap them on the rump. To date, the antelope has always eluded me.

Today I was riding on a quad, clearing scrub brush out of an orange grove. Kangaroos are not as elusive or as quick as antelope.

Just Another Day in Paradise

June 2:
Kangaroos hopping around aimlessly. Trees heavy with oranges. The grape vines are starting to bud and shoot. The skies are polluted with black faced and wide billed storks. The trees are filled with cockitels of every colour you could imagine. Every corner carries a new surprise. I have even begun to apply the Australian nonchalance towards the myriad of spiders that infest every non-spider filled crevice. Seriously, nothing is sacred to those eight legged death monsters.

This adventure has taken a turn towards the surreal. I am earning an international relations degree simply by breathing. As I have mentioned before, this country is rife with international backpackers. Last night the Frenchmen who are staying here taught us all how to make crepes. The instructions came with the expected level of French flamboyance and shouting. The Frenchmen are soon bound for home but they said that they never missed it because throughout their journeys they could always prepare a dish from their mothers cookbook and suddenly they would be home. The Italians hummed and hawed but ultimately agreed. The Italians also inform me that lentil soup is a lucky soup and if you eat it you will have good luck. Food and laughter need no translation.

June 3/4:
The moisture is finally retreating which is a welcome relief for the backpackers. In the past two days their ranks have swelled with the addition of two Germans.  I feel a little guilty because I'm am currently stabled with them but I am not employed in the same capacity as them. All my years fighting with and cursing that little Nissan are finally paying dividends. The majority of the vehicles down here are Nissans and Toyotas in the 1/4 ton body size. The only real difference is that they almost exclusivly run small four cylinder diesel engines. It feels really good to be doing something I know and helping in a field I can thrive in.

It also helps that this international melting pot is full of characters. Quinton, from France, has more energy than a puppy and about the same attention span. He waves his arms like a helicopter whenever he tells a story. Remy is another Frenchman but he is quiet and reserved. He usually keeps his hands occupied by rolling cigarettes. He says that his English is no good but he has delivered some of the funniest and wittiest one liners I have ever heard. Mabel is Michàels young wife. They are both from Italy and I like them the best. Mabel is your prototypical doting Italian wife, always offering you food or drink and always caring or cleaning. Michàel is a butcher and a carpenter. The first is his trade the second a hobby. His talents and hard working attitude are humbling because of the stories he tells about his home.

For example, the norm in Italy is to work for one month then spend the second month petitioning your employer for your due wages. The number one thing I have picked up from these Europeans is that much of destination Europe, is broken. These young men and women I am living with all agree. Europe needs drastic changes if she is going to survive. They look towards North America as a beacon of hope and prosperity. All of them speak English to a degree and I am throughly embarrassed because I have failed to learn another language. But dear friends, it is late and the dawn comes early. Until I see you again,

Take it easy.